my life is terrible. i live in an abusive home where there is constant chaos. i have to go to court to testify against my mother because she is trying to kick out my father legally and if she does we will die. i have only 1 friend that i never get to see. everyone in my life that i loved just dropped me out if nowhere. im in so much agony every day. im so traumatized. im stuck in this prison with no way out. nobody i can stay with. nobody that will help me. nobody has ever helped me. i feel like i will die alone in this room and nobody but my family will know. ill just disappear and my 1 friend will wonder where i went. i. hope i do die. i dont want to be here anymore theres nothing for me here. this world is shit. people are shit.

i am on a mission to be softer. the body lighter, i'm found in the loveless mouth of men who look like you. i wait and they never do.

 i'm calling up old friends and trying to get back to you. nowadays i hurt more people than i am hurt. what is that? growing up? gaining worth?